As a parent, you understand the value of coaching. You know that adolescence is a stage when your teen will start to pull away from you so you want to provide her with outside support. You know she will benefit from having a trusted person with whom she can process her experiences and learn practical tools that will enable her to handle challenges and build confidence, resilience, and responsibility.
However, there is no guarantee that your daughter will agree. At first, she probably won’t recognize the value of coaching and you may face some resistance.
The way you bring up the topic of coaching matters. Your tone, choice of words, and timing will influence your daughter’s response.
Here are some useful tips for talking to your daughter about coaching:
- Use your own adolescent experience: “When I was your age, I didn’t want to share everything with my parents. I wish I had someone in my life who understood me and who I could talk to about some of the hard stuff I was dealing with. I didn’t have that opportunity and I want to make sure you do.”
- Be enthusiastic about coaching: “I met a really cool woman who is all about supporting girls to live happier, more amazing lives. I think you will like her.”
- Ask open-ended questions: “How are things going for you?” “Do you think it would help to talk with someone?”
- Remind her that she is not making a life-long commitment. Emphasize that she will have a say in whether or not coaching and the coach are a good fit.
- Consider your timing. She is more likely to resist the idea of coaching when she is in a crisis or fighting with you. Choose a time when she is relaxed, open, and calm.
- Assure her that coaching is not a punishment. Instead, it is an opportunity to have a safe space to vent, build on her strengths, and receive tools that she can apply to everyday problems.
- Emphasize the fact that asking for help is an act of strength. Coaching will help her grow stronger and take action to reach her potential.
- Find your own humility; admit that coaching is a support for you as much as it is for her.